Hi.
I met you in a dream last night. You were the same guy I
have known for the past 5 years. Same old guy. You were joking and teasing me,
never fail to make me laugh my fullest like how you always did.
In that dream, we were walking by the beach. You were
wearing that white Renoma Tee and that gray shorts. You smelled all Drakkar
Noir by Guy Laroche. You were holding my hands. With bright eyes, you smiled at
me, showing off your dimples. Yes. Dimples. Those dimples that would always
always make me cringe and would make my stomach flip. Your half smile.. The
John Mayer smile that would always just turn me on like a light bulb.
In that dream, as we were strolling by the beach, as we
were laughing, you made the most romantic move. You pulled me to your body and
just… kissed me on my forehead with that smile on your lips. I had Goosebumps. The
every hair on my body just stand. I feel you in that instant. Then, from my
forehead, slowly.. you kissed the tip of my nose with that smile on your lips
again. Then.. again.. as slowly as a ballerina on the musical box dances, you
took your time and kissed my lips.
In that dream, you told me how precious I am to you. Like
a treasure box that you would never want to lose. You told me that I am the
only one in your eyes and you lips belongs to me and only me alone. Then you
wrapped your arms around me and it felt like eternity. I smelled you and at
that moment, I question myself “what would I do without you?” I don’t know. I
really don’t. All I know was that, I would never ever want to lose you. I never
want to lose you. Ever.
Then, the most unthinkable thing happened. My alarm clock
just woke me up. I opened my eyes and realized that I was in a pool of tears. I
cried so badly while being in my dreams. At that very moment, I know that I
miss you more than I would admit. I miss you calling me every night. I miss you
texting me telling me all kinds of stupid stuffs you’ve done. I miss you
teasing me. I miss you teaching me new stuffs. I miss you telling me things
that you’ve read all day long. I miss you telling me how much time that you’ve
spent in front of your computer youtubing. I miss you calling me names. I miss
you telling me you miss me. And I miss you calling me baby.
If I could turn back the time, I would make things right.
I would trade my 3 years with Mr. Playboy for you. I would turn back to 5 years
ago and approach you first when you’re feeling so insecure about yourself. I
would do all I can to get to you. In my quiet time, I often would think that
what if I traded my 3 years to be with you, will we still be together now? Will
we be happy? Or will we still be what we are today?
Today, I stalked you on Facebook. You look so happy with
her in that picture and I had mixed feelings about that. I’m so glad that you’re
happy but at the same time, I’m so hurt that I’m not the one who’s standing by
your side. Deep down, I secretly wish that I’m her.
I thought I’ve let you go completely. But who am I fooling?
Deep down within me, I still miss you terribly and every single phone call that
I get, I secretly still wish that it’s you.
