What’s on my mind?

A lot. A lot. And I mean it once again.. Like A LOOOTTT. Haven’t been journaling for quite some time and today, just so suddenly, I thought about something that has in some ways, impacted me.

“Girls are replaceable. No one is irreplaceable”

Yeapppp. As heck as that sounds like, I heard my ONCE significant other told me this. In another words, he was trying to tell me, “YOU’RE REPLACEABLE, BABY”. Wow. Harsh? You bet! When he said that, my eyes almost got separated from my head and my heart fell as if I’ve been pushed down from Burj Khalifa – the tallest building in Dubai.

                                                         Burj Khalifa in Dubai

Instantly, I asked him in disbelieve, “Huh? What? Why do you think so?” His answer to me was “Easy. Nobody is indispensable. Not even in a company. Not even anybody”. “But I’m NOT your company or your employee. I’m your other half. Your girlfriend”, I said. To this, his reply was, “Same thing.” And that hurt me a lot and kept me thinking so much my head began to ache. I thought I needed Paracetamol. For God’s sake, I can’t believe what I just heard and worst part? I can’t believe that came out of my other half’s own mouth. Yea, it stung me like no other. At that very moment, I knew that we wouldn’t last. Wouldn’t even last till the end of the year to be exact. Well, after all, I’m REPLACEABLE and I don’t want to be.

                                                         Beyonce - Irrecplaceable

But this other half of mine, was a John Mayer.

                                                                My John Mayer

During our dating days, we would drive through the night and spend the night just talking, laughing and so madly into each other till dawn. He would often drive me around town and outskirts of town just to spend more time with me. He would often stop the car by the road and just hug me and just randomly sing to me. Yes, he sang to me with that half smile that would just kill me off just like that. He was the apple of my eyes and the very heartbeat of my heart. Those little cute dimples on his face every single time when he smiled at me. I loved his cheeky smile, his stupid jokes that would just crack me up like a light bulb. I couldn't stay mad at him, not even for a minute. Often times, I would be angry and laugh at his stupid jokes at the same time. Ok, I don’t even know how I did that, but that was the case. He was my Confuse, my headache, my heartbeat my everything. My everything. I love everything about this guy.

Sweet isn’t it? Yea, as everyone knows. Things with John Mayer never happens. At least, not yet for now. Same goes to my ONCE significant other. He was my John Mayer. Things ended very quickly with him but yet, the thought of him still carves a smile on my face. To think that I am REPLACEABLE to him, it hurts. Even till this day. Girls, remember this. Either a guy appreciates you or you can hold the door fully open for him to walk out. You are worth more than “REPLACEABLE ITEM”. You’re not an item. You’re a girl. A lady. A woman. There may be a lot of girls, ladies and women on this planet earth. But there will always be only ONE you! You’re unique, beautiful and everything a guy would die for. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re REPLACEABLE because you’re not. And to top it all, your presence on this planet earth makes a big difference in the life of the people around you. So you are IRREPLACEABLE.

                                                                    IRREPLACEABLE

As for my once John Mayer, my best friend (though we don’t really talk anymore), I wish the best for you and your now significant other.

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